This question has been running in my head for way longer than I can remember. Ever since I watched Kate Hudson’s and Ginnifer Goodwin’s “Something Borrowed”, which is honestly my least favorite movie ever, I have never stopped wondering.
Why would a person cheat in a relationship?
To be quite honest, I can find a reason why a person would cheat in marriage (although there’s never an excuse other than the fact that they are too low to be labelled human) but atleast I can say that they fell out of love and were too low and decided to avoid facing the consequences (particularly the financial ones) of manning up and facing their spouse so they decided to take the cheaper, unethical solution: cheating.
A reason as such, although too low for human standards, is atleast a reason.
But the question that’s always roaming around in my head is: Why would a person cheat in a relationship?
As far as I know, you’re not chained to the person you love. There’s no greater power forcing you to stay with them. You are two people who are together because you chose, on basis of a completely free will, to be so.
When I’ve asked people why would a person cheat instead of ending their relationship and starting a new one, the only answer I’ve got is: They don’t want to hurt their partner.
That was the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard in my life! If you’re cheating, that means you fell out of love, which also means their feelings mean really nothing to you so you might as well start wanting to directly hurt them.
Eventually, the pain you cause them will be much more devastating than that of saying “I can’t do this anymore”, which makes your aforementioned excuse nonexistent.
Besides all that, I really don’t see why you would choose someone else over the person you already chose. Maybe because they’re better looking? Smarter? Richer? More romantic? Well, let me break it to you: that’s a mean cycle. This “more” is eternal. There’s always a more beautiful, smarter, funnier and richer person out there. Whoever you choose, there’s always someone else who is a step closer to perfection out there so good luck falling in love with half of the world’s population! If you cheat once, it becomes a trait because I see no reason why the next will be more satisfying when there’s always the better.
However, if your reason is that you made a wrong choice, if understanding and communication are missing in your relationship from day 1 and you find them somewhere else, then the most humanly thing to do is to let your partner know. It will be devastating and maybe heartwrecking for them, but you owe them the truth. You owe them enough to let them know that there’s nothing more you can give. Cheating or not, once you stop loving someone they have the right to know. I’m sure you would want to know if it was the other way round 🙂
The last thought I’m going to spill here is: I hope you find love. I hope you search thoroughly and devotedly until you find the love that you intend to stick with for the rest of your life. Don’t waste your emotions here and there because eventually, you will end up with none. I finally realised that waiting and evaluating a relationship before starting one is the best way. I have my own beautiful inspiration down this path, and I hope you find yours 🙂
Alya Omran’s Blog 